If you were to write down everything you do, how long would your list be? My guess is pretty freaking long.
Work
School
Household chores
Keeping schedules
Running errands
Getting everyone to activities
This is the condensed version. You might be shocked to see just how much is on your plate if you actually took the time to write down every little thing you do. At work, you have a list of responsibilities. School gives you a list of things to do. Household chores are endless! Keeping track of everyone's schedules, countless errands, and the millions of activities the people in your household are a part of! Not to mention where they left that one thing they're looking for as you're trying to walk out the door. "Your glasses are downstairs on the table next to the chair that you sit on to watch your favorite show. Probably sitting on top of your book next to the Kleenex box." Sound familiar?
It's a lot. So where are you supposed to fit in that "Joy" everyone keeps talking about?
I would be willing to bet that at some point in your life you had a hobby. Scrapbooking, gardening, singing, reading, baking, cooking, curating the perfect bookshelf displays! Something out there once brought you joy. Why did you stop?
"I just don't have time."
We've all said it. I feel like I say that every day. Reading more was on my list of New Year's resolutions! Well, it's March and I have not read one book. The last book I read was in July of last year, and I shoved my household chores to the side and finished reading that book in three days. When I was done, I looked around my messy house and overflowing laundry baskets and kicked myself for neglecting my responsibilities.
But I needed those three days... I LOVE reading! Like, really love reading. As in - I was on the waitlist for my favorite books to be sent to the library in high school. I would get grounded for staying up all night long just so I could pour over every word! Here's my receipt:
This is one of my senior pictures. I'm reading a flipping book!
So how can you find your JOY again without completely neglecting your responsibilities? Here are some hard truths and some tangible tools to do just that.
1. You will have to let go of some of your responsibilities.
Yep. I said it. Delegate some of the things on your To-do list. Are you the only one scrubbing toilets once a week? That might be good for someone else to do just once a month, so that you can make room for a hobby! Let your spouse or your kids make supper once a week so that you can have an hour to dedicate to that sewing project you've been putting off. Opt for grocery pickup or delivery instead of using your valuable free time to go shopping in person. Delegating doesn't have to mean that things won't get done. It just means you are not the only one who has to do it.
2. Prioritize
Believe it or not, you actually do have time for things that bring you joy. You're just not prioritizing them. "I have more important things to do than bake cookies!" Except that you don't. Chances are that if you're reading this, you want to make a change. So now more than ever, baking cookies (for fun!) might just be the most important thing on your To-do list. One hard truth might be that you need to put your phone down or stop binge-watching Netflix. I've personally come to terms with this one and found I'm much happier and my every-day tasks feel less hectic.
3. Give yourself permission to take breaks
Often times, when your family relies on you to carry out all of your tasks in order for things to run smoothly, it's hard to admit that you don't have to do "all the things" all the time. Give yourself permission to take a break. Taking small breaks every now and then will prevent burnout. Do you ever feel like you need a week-long vacation?! Me too. But if you carve out small pockets of time during your week to enjoy your hobbies, pretty soon you won't feel that way. Take 10 minutes before bed to read. Curate a new playlist or dig out some old CDs and listen to music! Don't overthink this one.
4. Ask yourself what you enjoy!
What do YOU enjoy? Not what your spouse is interested in. Not what your kids like to do. But what you enjoy! This is a good opportunity to make a list. Once you see it on paper, you can decide which hobbies you want to make room for! Many of us are so consumed by our daily lives of simply surviving and making sure our families' needs are met. We tend to put ourselves last... or not at all. Think about what brings you joy and then make time for it.
Are you feeling overwhelmed just thinking about this? That's ok. Start small. You don't have to add more to your ever-growing list of things to do.
Delegate. Prioritize YOU. Give yourself permission. And find what brings you joy.
Because you're worth it.
XO, Courtney
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